Kids. Really.

So, my kids have been making me laugh mostly these days. I say mostly. Not the last two. I think PMS has hit and period is pending. :/

So, here’s some cute funnies for myself to remember and to share with those who like these kind of things.

Bliss has started to talk and sign. It has only taken her 19 months but she’s finally getting the hang of it. Kind of. For dog, she says “dah-dah” and pats her chest instead of her leg as the ASL is. She points to her nose as she says “bir” instead of pretending her pointer and thumb are a beak. She finally says Mom with regularity and somewhere she picked up “boobs” and points to what will one day be boobs. “No” is much to frequent as is “ow” every time I change her diaper. I think mostly because I respond to it, but I keep telling her it won’t be “owie” if she’d just stop eating dirt. Her binkie is “wee-wee” and she can say blankie. She can finally say “milk, please” and try to sign it, but my favorite is “more”. It don’t know why, it’s just how she says it. She is finally nodding her head in a yes response and will sign “thank you” after I say it. So, we are finally making progress with her. She definitely knows how to sign bath and knows what that is, I ended up with two water babies.

I’ve started at the gym recently to help with my weight control, stress management, pain management, and they have a daycare I can take the kids for 2 hours. Obviously, I shouldn’t have to mention, they keep getting sick. Bliss is teething, she’s finishing up her eye teeth which everyone says are the worst. Edison never acknowledged really he was teething, and neither has Bliss, until now. She is now a non-stop, screaming, temper tantrum, drooling, snotty mess. And it’s hard. The sound she makes when she screeches is overwhelming to my brain. And lately, as is the age, when she doesn’t get her way, the screaming and squealing and gnashing of teeth and vomiting of green stuff and head spinning (I am mostly joking. mostly.) is just too much for this mommy. I go to the gym, get a great workout in, feel great, actually get a shower in, and then I pick up my kids and the ride home undoes everything I’ve just done.

This too shall pass.

Edison is fully potty trained. I say that because we have been accident free for 2 weeks now and he’s started to wake up in the middle of the night crying because he has to go. Which is great, except that I am up from 1:30 to about 4:00am every day. He gets up, pees, has a hard time going back to sleep, Bliss hears us, wakes up, she doesn’t want to go back to sleep and cries, plus with her awful cough and teething… let’s just say my nights have been awesome. :/ Plus I get up every morning at 5:20 because I am a good wife and The Captain wants to get up to get to the gym by 6:00am. He never wakes up to his alarm, but the second I nudge him and say his name, he wakes up. I have to stay there for a minute because 9 times out of 10 he’ll go back to sleep in seconds. So I have to stay there until he really wakes up and is up. So, I haven’t been getting much sleep.

On top of the sleep thing, I have been waking up in so much pain that wrestling the kids from upstairs to downstairs to change diapers and make sure that we all maneuver the stairs in my sleep deprived state and their toddler state is a success and get breakfast, I’m just not in the best mood in the mornings. It’s luckily not every day, but more days than not.

Edison has also started showing signs of his sense of humor which is sarcastic and really funny to me. I am not a morning person and I usually lay around and nap while Bliss is in her high chair eating breakfast and they both watch cartoons until she gets restless. Lately, when I ave been getting up, he comes to me with a bewildered look on his face, “What? Mom awake? What? Mom up? What?” and totally does the “I don’t believe this” face. It makes me laugh.

I just read this and found out I guess I never posted it… so I will post it now. It was originally written the first of June. LOL. I must’ve had more to write… or I wrote this on ambien and forgot what I was doing…


Splash of cold water.

I would officially like to state my non-medical opinion on something.

Writing is very therapeutic for some people. Either that or what doctors say about being intimate really are true. Yeah, TMI, but whatever, it’s the birds and the bees and it’s not a bad thing. Especially because when I’m pregnant I don’t want to be touched. I have to force myself to cuddle my kids cause they are too hot and breathing my air. I don’t want The Captain to touch me. He’s already fulfilled his role and anthropologically speaking, I don’t need him anymore until the baby is born. It’s nice to have days where I feel like we are just dating and I can’t get enough hand holding and cuddling and kissing. I forget how much fun it is to make out. You get married and the butterfly inducing things seem to get put on the wayside. As for the kid thing… I have two brains right now. The pregnant brain and the mommy brain. The mommy brain is much stronger in aspects because it loves the kid cuddling while the pregnancy brain is inside screaming to “give me back my air!!”

I finally slept last night. Three hours and then up for 2 and then three more. It was awesome. I showered, did my hair, did my makeup, dishes are done, laundry is 4 loads down and counting.

It is finally around 5pm and I’m finally crashing. I’m done for the day. But this is much better, more productive day than I’ve had in weeks.

Getting sleep is like a splash of cold water to the face. I love the feeling of being rested.


I want a drink.

Wait… change that. I want a big glass of moscato wine while sitting in my big tub with hot water and bubbles in candle light with a book.

But I can’t.

No, I can… I can do anything I want. I won’t. I won’t risk doing anything to hurt the baby I’m trying to grow. I won’t sit in a bath TOO hot and I won’t drink alcohol, (well, maybe a small taste here and there) but nothing to get me feeling the alcohol.

Because I do too much already that makes me a little nervous but both my doctors know about it and we’ve all decided that it is in my best interest to ingest the medicine I do.


Because it avoids times like this. Times where I’m out of Ambien, out of pain pills, and I can’t sleep. I’m almost out of Prozac, so we’ll see how that adds to the mixture. I am going on day 5 of three hours of sleep. You would think that the medicine would have run through my system and I wouldn’t need the Ambien, but the thing is, I get insomnia when I’m pregnant. I lay in bed for hours. HOURS! I have tried everything from lavender to warm milk to warm tea to getting up and trying something else until I’m tired. I am exhausted. I lay back down and my mind races and races and I can’t shut it down but my body and my eyes are weary and worn to the bone.

I am one of those people who needs sleep. I need at least 8 hours to function. The Captain gets c.r.a.n.k.y. when he’s hungry. Me? I get cranky when I’m tired. Not just tired but tired and laying in bed and suffering from muscle spasms that start at the base of my skull and run down to my right sciatic nerve and then it’s like that straight line is put in a tourniquet and spun tight so my back arches backward. It’s very painful and very not conducive to falling asleep. So, even when I start to nod off, this spasm hits and I’m wide awake. I sit up, do stretches, walk around a bit, then I’m wide awake.

Now, on Day 5 of little sleep, I’ve gotten past the cranky stage and I’m just plain ugly. I can’t help it. I turn into a toddler who is tired, I can’t control my emotions, I can’t manage my anger, I can’t manage my tears, I can’t manage my children, and I certainly can’t manage my house. The Captain comes home from a long day at work, has school to study for, and I feel bad because I haven’t done any housework. I can’t bear to get up long enough to wrangle the children and do dishes. Laundry? It’s such and easy thing and I’ve gotten back to the place that I’d rather slam my finger in the door than do it. Walking up the stairs to put my laundry away… I stand at the bottom of the stairs and I feel it’s them Empire State building stairwell. Having to carry my 30 pound Bliss up the stairs? I feel as though I’m walking up Mt. Everest.

Next week, things will be better as my prescriptions will be refilled… I hope. My psychiatrist has left where he was practicing and my appointment was cancelled. To get in with his PA, I have to wait another month. I hope my primary care physician will refill them for me until I can get back in.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. Things are so much better for me when I have slept. Even if I have to do it medically. For my sanity, for my inner beauty that I know is in there somewhere, for my children, for my husband, for myself… I will risk taking those medications. I did it with Bliss because Edison was so hard on me mentally and physically that I think it affected him adversely. I think she is much better emotionally than he is because I was willing to put me in a better place.

Until the end of the tunnel, there is not drinks, there is no hot tubs, but there is chocolate, there is soda, there is my favorite vanilla yogurt, there is the occasional retail therapy, and most importantly, there is time out for mom.

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