blech

So, some TMI I think… or maybe a lack-there-of… but am I the only woman who hasn’t pooped having a baby? For some reason it’s been in blogs and on facebook of what to expect during birth and that is the one thing they say all women do. Nope. Not me.

Of course I don’t think the nurse knows about my going to the bathroom by myself the second baby or the temper I had in the bathroom while having horrible, atrocious, I-want-to-die contractions and the toilet paper would only disperse one square at a time. Yeah, you read that right. ONE FLIPPING SQUARE! The hospital couldn’t spare a square. So I went with the big guns and used my you-upped-my-pitocin-and-now-I-want-to-die right and used paper towels. And I flushed them, bitches. Yes I did. Right after I read the sign that said “Please don’t flush paper towels or feminine hygiene products”. Well, then give me more toilet paper.

Anyway, what made me think of this is that I feel pregnant. I feel sick to my stomach. Smells are bugging me. I get up and try to get moving and feel as though my heart is going to pound out of my head. I am out of breath. I am HOT. HOT. HOT. And not the I feel like a hot mamma. Like I feel like I’m 1000 degrees. I am tired. So SO tired. I can barely keep my eyes open. I can barely function. I am not sleeping well. I think I’m pregnant.

But the tests keep coming back negative.

Sigh.

Blech.

EDIT: So upon further study of myself, I have a sore throat and a fever. Upon further research, I guess all of my symptoms are most possibly due to the change in my anti-depressant. Apparently, these are all common side effects of Prozac. Fantastic. :/

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