Communication

I would like to give a huge “thank you” shout out to Miss T.

Apparently there has been a lack in communication and a surge of over communication that has led to some hurt feelings.

I appreciate the straight forward manner in which you were willing and able to help me get some sort of sense of the mess that has been created.

I’m so very glad that my first impression was not wrong and that you really are a nice person.

I am also glad that I know where my hurt feelings are able to be directed, but to be honest, they are going away as my life is too busy to keep grudges or hurt feelings last too long. It’s too tiring and I just don’t have the time or the desire to harbor anything negative if I can help it.

Mr. D, Thank you for walking me through stuff. You are always great to help me figure out if I’m over or under reacting. Helping me figure out when to let go. Helping me basically just wrap my head around what’s going on in my life and you never judge me. I’m forever grateful for that mostly.

Communication is NOT my strongest suit. Not something I learned growing up. I learned a lot of other things, but talking about my feelings is not one of them. Besides, I just couldn’t see myself calling Miss T up and asking her “Why don’t you like me…wah!” It really isn’t my place to do that. If at some point any type of issues can and will come up I’m sure. They always do. Otherwise, I can just sit on it and go on. Besides, I didn’t need to be told that the “wah-mbulance was on it’s way to take me to the wuss-pital.” Which is exactly what it would be like in my head. Calling to whine about someone not liking me. 🙂 It isn’t the first time, it won’t be the last, and if I’m patient people either come around or they just don’t. It’s ok. It’s been like that my whole life. I’m ok with it. I’m just now becoming ok with it. It’s part of my learning about Buddhism and trying to lessen the suffering of other and one’s self.

Anyway, The Captain is awesome at communication and thank God he makes me talk to him. Otherwise we’d be married 4 years this May and would not be speaking to each other. I am learning to try to be more honest about my feeling to people to their faces and I have truly been duly chastised about my lack of communication.

Miss T, I really should have come to you in the first place and even though Mr. H asked me not to say anything, I should have just come to you with how I felt. I should have told you what I was told and to tell you that my feelings were hurt but I respect his decision. I want you to know how in a strange odd way, it makes me kind of happy that he did what he did. Do you realize that is a strange round-about dumb man way of showing how much he cares about you? How much he cares about your happiness? It’s kind of cool, even if it was at the expense of my “feel goods”.

So, onward and upward. My lacking of communication skills is going to be a long haul but I’m trying to make progress. And if nothing else, there is progress in the communication of my marriage which is the most important thing.

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