Intimidated

I have blogged before using blogspot just because that is what everyone I knew used.

I decided to start at new blog that I could use as my journal. Be me and not care what anyone thought. My original blog I’ve got I’ve had to really censor myself and I hate that. I have family that are religious and conservative. I have friends that are a little judgemental. My husband is terrified that his work will find my blog and fire him. 😀 So, I’ve decided, under a psuedonymn to write the way I want. About stories that I want to write about. To curse as I feel I need to. To be as politically incorrect and opinionated as I want. I don’t want my mom to read this and feel like I think she’s been a bad mom. I don’t want my sister in law to read this and feel bad that I secretly have a little hate for her. She’s the perfect mom and wife and loves it. I am a little jealous for what she accomplishes and that she is so amazing artistic and perfect and secretly want to be more like her. And I know I will never live up to her standards. I don’t want my in-laws to read about my sex life or about some of the personal things that their son and I do. It’s just weird. I don’t want my husband to worry about what I’m blogging about. I don’t want them to be offended by my language. I don’t want to feel judged by my feelings of parenting or my issues with depression. I want to be able to discuss my battle with depression and therapy and psychiatry and medication without feeling the need to censor myself… so… here it is.

If you find this and read it and enjoy it and can sympathize, empthize, or apathy me away…then great. I just hope it’s therapeutic to me.

Or maybe I find this intimidating because I have just had way too much wine… we’ll see in the morning.

But this wordpress thing freaks me the fuck out. I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s not as user friendly. I hope my husband, the computer guy, doesn’t mind helping me figure this out without freaking out about it. LOL

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